Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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