New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
