i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
