Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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