girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
