I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
