Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
