May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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