Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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