She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
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I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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