I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
