I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
