your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
