i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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