Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
