He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
