Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
