sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
