Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize