She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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