Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
