haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
