Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am mentally ready for anal.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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