I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
