I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I understand Curling. That high.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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