R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
