ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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