gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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