i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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