can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
