The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
