Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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