I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize