it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
