I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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