Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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