Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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