Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
