By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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