His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
