I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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