considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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