Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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