how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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