We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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