I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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