I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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