I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
