WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
