Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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