belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
