I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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