I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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