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• (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

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• (818): View more from California

  my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball

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• (914): View more from New York

  Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?

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• (253): View more from Washington

  We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I think they're German

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just say lederhosen and see what happens

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this

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• (585): View more from New York

  Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car

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