Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
