I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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