so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
