There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
