I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
