Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you traded sex for a burrito?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
