pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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