At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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