I seem to have left my pride at pride
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize