she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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