he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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