Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
